Vodka n’ chillies

Mom is staying with my maternal uncle since a few days and grandmom is staying with my eldest uncle. My dad is enjoying every bit of this never-found freedom 🙂 . We were discussing our dinner place yesterday at around 5:30pm when dad suggested of ARDE’s (thats the place where my dad worked for 38 years) mess with my friends. This is one place all of us love. Don’t go by the word “mess”. It is a beautiful place next to the Pashan lake with a huge lawn area and a typical Defence mess atmosphere. Not to forget our dear Seema’s wedding reception was here.

By 8 we (dad, Manmit, Mukul and myself) reached there. We went straight to the bar. Since the last 20 years the same protocol is being followed. I follow my dad in the bar, my dad orders for a large peg of either rum or whiskey and I am given a soft drink with waffers or peanuts. But this time the protocol was programmed for an upgraded version. Dad first asked Mukul whether he will share a drink with him and expectedly Mukul nodded with excitement. We went to the bar. Manmit had told me he won’t drink a beer but will share a Vodka with me, if I was going to take it.

Mukul wanted a beer. However, it was not chilled. So dad asked him whether he would go for any hard drink. The bar tender said that he will serve the beer with ice cubes for which Mukul agreed. But dad was in some other mood. He made fun of Mukul that no one drinks beer with ice cubes. Still Mukul went ahead with the same plan. Then came the real big moment.

Dad:Tu kay ghenar” (What you will have?)
Me:Te kay aahe” (What is that?) .. pointing towards dad’s glass.
Dad:Bacardi White Rum.. the best alcohol“.

I deserved an Oscar for my performance. I was acting like a batsman in a boxing arena. Then I asked for a Vodka. I had to… I had to break that thin wall some day.. and I did. My dad even asked me whether I had it before. I said “yes, sometimes we have it in our office parties”. I knew of dad’s perception of Software company parties. I said it because I didnt want dad to assume that we friends have it regularly. And as a matter of fact our maha-kanjoos company has never kept alcohol in any of its parties.

Little did dad knew that I had it in 12th Std. first. Hello, hello now don’t assume I have it regularly. We drink very rarely say once in a month or so… that makes it just 12 times in a year. (except for Goa trips 😉 ).

We took our glasses (btw Manmit also had vodka) and we went on the lawn with some chakna of shev. Now dad started talking on various issues ranging from caste system in India since the era of Shivaji, political scenario in India and slowly he moved to bolder topics like extra marital affairs and on characterless people. I think I should discuss topics of dad’s interests often.

Expectedly he asked us of our frequency of having drinks. Again I dismissed his assumptions that I rarely have it and I have started it after joining Satyam.

Then dad told me the real art of drinking vodka.

  1. Pour Sprite/7up or Soda and water in a vodka peg.
  2. Add lemon drops to it.
  3. Cut open a green chilly vertically and add it to the glass.

I imagined the consequences of dad if mom comes to know of this ;). My dad also mentioned that Anmol won’t like the fact that he treated us in his absence. I hated this new-found respect for Anmol. He didn’t deserve it. Then dad continued by saying that whenever he has seen Anmol he is always with a different girl. We laughed on that.

Dad continued with 3 more pegs. We, like good boys didn’t ask for even the second peg. Mukul finished the entire beer bottle and we had 2 XXL plates of french fries and 2 plates of peanut and 1 plate of green salad for snacks. I feared for Mukul as we knew his capacity. Fortunately he was okay. 🙂

Another memorable evening, an evening when my relationship with my dad moved up one more level.

I took my parents to a 5 star Hotel

Since a few months we (my family) had been planning a dinner but for some reason it always got postponed/cancelled. The primarily reason were my unavailability on weekends and my gym (which I go after 9pm) on weekdays. So I decided to plan something special for them and take them to a 5 star late night as the coffee shops of all 5 stars are open 24 hours.

We reached Sun ‘n Sand which is just next to my office on D.P. Road. My parents and my dad in particular was very excited about the plan. He had been to Taj Blue Diamond on very few occassions for his office conferences. My mom and never been to any star-rated hotel before. She kept on saying, “Why spend so much and that too when there is no special occasion”… and that’s what I wanted exactly..to take them to a nice place just like that..when there is no special occasion.

My dad in all the excitement brought our cordless phone 🙂 by mistake. I warned him not to take it out from his trouser pocket. It was not also as if he brought the cordless mistaking it for his Motorola, since his Motorola was in his shirt’s pocket. Sun ‘n Sand has those big rotating doors with three slabs and one needs to be quick in between those slabs to enter. My mom stood still and when one of the rotating slab touched her she screamed..but a in a low tone ..THANK GOD 🙂 🙂 !!

My parents were having a glance at the menu card and in the next few seconds.

Dad: “Mineral Water, 80 Rs…too much.. yeh kuch jyada hi ho gaya..”
Mom: “Masala Chai, 90Rs.”

I told them to look only in the left hand side of the menu card. Sun n’ Sand had an Italian Festival and the waiter got its menu card. My dad wanted to try some Italian liquor which my mom didn’t allow 😉 obviosuly. We ordered for Pasta (Penne, Spaghetti, Fusilli) and a Veg. Sizzler. To my surprise my mom simply loved the Sizzler and as expected they didn’t like the pasta much. My dad even said it “Maida che gole” (Balls of maida.. although the shape was nowhere like a ball). I was teaching them dining etiquettes in a 5 star 😉 ..thank God Avadhut, Seema etc. were not there!!

My mom was observing the minute details of the restaurant like each bouquet was kept at equal distance and was exactly the same, the frames and the overall ambience. My dad, on the other hand, was more interested in observing the people- the way they present themselves.

I knew that my mom was eating just for the sake of not wasting any food and so I helped her out in finishing the pasta…I was extremely hungry (like always) after the gym and could have finished half the pasta easily. My mom asked me the time and only then did she realize that it was 12:30am…and she was like “Oh my God!! 12:30.. I thought it must be around 11:30.. we should go back to our home”, but my dad was enjoying every moment of the dinner and he immediately responded “Not today!”. Just when they thought that the dinner is over I ordered for a Sizzling Brownie. I had it the last time I was here and it was yummy, so scrumptious that leaving the hotel without tasting it was like a sin.

The waiter got the Sizzling Brownie and then in style poured some liquid (which I think was alcohol) around it and lit it with his lighter. My mom watched the flame around the brownie like the kid who enjoys the sight of gas balloons drifting in the air. My dad made gestures (which reminded me of Calvin’s dad) as if he is used to this luxurious life and eats a Sizzling Brownie almost daily 😉 .

Calvin and his dad

I could feel some sense of pride in the heart of my parents. While returning my dad simply said “maaza aa gaya” and my mom (who generally doesn’t express her feelings) said that she enjoyed the brownie and sizzler. I felt really nice. Its Kobe Sizzlers the next time for sure!!

My Santa arrived last Sunday

He arrived and he kept his promise. He got me a tent which can accommodate 2 adults (although I had asked for one more), a cozy sleeping bag with a pillow (which can be folded in a 10” X 10” bag), lots of chocolates, 2 pairs of shoes, insect repellant body liquid a T-Shirt (XL by US Standards and still I could fit in it 😉 ). He had also ordered for a MP3 player online but it didn’t ship in time 😦 , but its OK. For the time-being my loyal partner Creative MuVO 512 MB will do. He also got me about 10 AAA batteries.

Sunday morning was indeed very special for me. I got up at 6am and had the rare opportunity to have a glimpse of the morning rays after like months. Santa didn’t show any signs of Jet lag. He was more worried on the dirt and dust in our home..so unlike me!! All of us had breakfast together, then I watched Jungle Book on FILMY channel for 4 hours (10am – 2pm). Was lucky enough to watch the episode of Sher Khan’s encounter with Mowgli and Mowgli’s dilemma thereafter on his ancestry. Occasionally I changed the channel to watch a documentary on Discovery channel titled “Maneaters of Sunderbans” and another one on Nat Geo on the eco-system of a lake somewhere in Africa which almost dries up for about 2 months every year.

After lunch I watched 2 episodes of Malgudi Days on my comp. I would like to thank Bambya for this. I love the simplicity of this serial. Then watched “Remember the Titans” for the second time. I like a particular part in the movie the part when the coach is motivating his team. He says –
“Nothing..come between us
Nothing..tears us apart
Greek mythology says -Titans were greater than the Gods,
They ruled the universe with absolute power.
The football field, out their tonight is our universe
Lets rule it like Titans”.

In the evening went to Tekdi with Manmit where Seema and Rasika made a guest appearance. The weather was awesome. After spending some quality time on Tekdi we returned back post-sunset. Then I went with my MCA-Gang to Frangipani – a newly opened restaurant on SB Road. The food was just above average. But we discussed on the most senseless topics which I simply love to.

I returned back late at night and slept after eating another “US” chocolate. Sometimes I feel our desi Perk or even Dairy Milk tastes better, but just the fact that it is “MADE IN USA” leaves a better taste.

Yesterday I spent one of the most memorable day of my life…and all thanks to Santa. He wanted to have a taste of the Indian version of McD. So I parceled Paneer Salsa, a Veg Wrap, McVeggie and McAloo Tikki while returning back from work. Although it was Ashadi-Ekadashi (and I follow it very honestly and sincerely), I decided to break my fast just to give company to my Santa. Anmol and Mukul were also for dinner as Santa had to discuss and take advice from Anmol regarding the investment in real estate (Oh!! I must appreciate, Anmol didn’t break his fast).

Santa, then opened a bottle of Baileys Caramel Irish Cream which he got from LA. All of us (Mukul, Anmol ,myself, Santa and surprisingly my sweet sis Kalli) had a peg each. Mom was having her dinner in the kitchen and dad was taking care of the washing machine, unaware of the fact that we are having liquor in the hall in transparent glasses.

Then I accompanied Anmol in his car till Mukul’s colony. Expectedly Mukul did his Dadagiri and shouted on me for my loud voice. For a change we had a very serious discussion as I had something to confess and ask advice for and then we discussed on….umm…cant discuss here on my blog..SORRY!!

I am hating each passing day as my Santa will be for merely 2 weeks.
But this year my Santa Santais looking a bit different. More like a matrimonial horse. PhetaI hope my elder Bro finds a suitable match soon.

HSC and the Dead Crow – Part 2

First of all I am really sorry for posting this after such a big gap. The primarily reason is WordPress is banned in my company and the second is I was working almost 16-18 hours daily.

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Dead Crow
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Please read Part-1 first.

The remaining HSC papers went by smoothly (in a very relative sense). Almost every single day of my vacation I used to think of my P1 results. Finally it was the result day. We decided to play cricket for the last time on Pandya’s ground as we all were sure that even meeting each other from the next day would be impossible; impossible for we would be shameful of our marks and would not be able to face the wrath of this cruel society.

We opened the gates of the ground and as Pandya walked towards the pitch he yelled that a DEAD CROW was lying in the middle of the pitch. Varry shouted that it is a bad omen which means that our results will be screwed big time. After about 10 minutes we were able to move the evil corpse using sticks in one corner of the ground.

I went home and tried my best to show off as if I am super cool regarding the results, but fooling parents is not that easy. My grandmom politely ordered me to return back to our home immediately after the results. I understood their expectations.

Standing in the long queue in Fergusson College was my longest and the most painful wait till date. Rumors like these are the worst HSC overall result in the last decade worsened my state of mind. My trembling fingers collected the mark sheet and my eyes first went directly on Phy marks. 74/100.

IMPOSSIBLE!!! I realized the entire system is fraudulent. I had barely attempted for 70 marks. Then how could it happen? God– He exists. I was sure. Although my parents were extremely disappointed, I was grinning, but couldn’t express it. Someone said that your bro scored 97% in PCM and you have scored its exact reverse. I stopped grinning.

Just then Bapnya called me and informed that “V” and “A” have scored below 60% and have gone MISSING!!! The last news heard about them was that they have headed towards Chandni Chowk on V’s bike.

..On a hillock near Chandni Chowk.

V: Now what to do, yaar.
A: Lets commit suicide. Lets jump from here.
< about 15 minutes later >
V: Lets go back.
A: OK.

Both reached back safely. All of us met again at Hotel Vaishali. We cursed the DEAD CROW and blamed our failures on him.(no it must be a “her”). Now this was the height of being shameless. To add a cherry on top our group celebrated my success since I was the topper of the group. I felt proud of my achievement.

But whatever happens; happens for good. I enjoyed the longest vacation of my life as, like every year, the engineering admissions got stuck up due to some stupid judgment by our Honorable High Court. I got admitted in the Modern College, Ganeshkhind just before the Diwali vacations. In this college I met the greatest friends one can ask for- Hal, Seema,  Suman and Bambya.

PS: The last sentence is written only because all the mentioned names read my blog 🙂

HSC and the Dead Crow – Part 1

Today the HSC results will be declared and will decide the fate of lakhs of youngsters in Maharashtra. I hate our education system in which just one exam almost decides your destiny.

The 3 words H-S-C still bring back the emotional trauma which I suffered.

Period: Mid-April, I guess.
Paper: Physics-1 or P1.

3 months for all the mock test series I used to sit besides Bevdya or Lokesh and copy their paper and somehow clear it. But on the nightmarish day, no angel was present. God must be enjoying my helplessness. I read the dreaded Problems on gravity and experienced a zero gravity state. Every inch of my skin was sweating. My greatest fear was turning out to be true.

3 hours later I was out of the examination hall. I had just survived the poisonous fumes in the Holocaust chamber. I knew I have managed to clear the paper…that’s it!!

My dad had arrived before time, as usual, to collect me. I was sitting behind our Kinetic with just one thought in my mind. WHAT IF I FAIL. Worst.. WHAT IF I SCORE JUST ABOVE 40%. The very thought of extreme humiliation was unbearable. My engineering dreams had crashed in less than 3 hours.

I reached home and the moment I entered our home my mom asked me how I fared in the paper? I couldn’t lie. I had to tell the truth. I was about to tell her, but was unable to utter a single word. Tears dropped on my toes proving the existence of gravity. I couldn’t face my mom. I rushed to the bedroom and locked myself. Holding a pillow on my face I started crying like a kid. I was hiding from myself, my own identity. I had shattered the dreams of my parents. My mom was extremely worried and banged the door and forced me to open it. My dad consoled me and said BCOM is also a very lucrative career option. (With all due respect to BCOM students). That’s the last time in my life that I really cried. I could feel the pain in the eyes of my parents.

My dad was now more worried about my next paper, Physics2 which I had almost forgotten. Till 5:30pm I had not touched P2 books.

Then suddenly something struck me, like my sixth sense telling me everything will be fine! I forced myself to forget the incident and start studying for my next paper.

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Well ,where is the DEAD CROW.. sorry guys..feeling too sleepy, its already 4am. Time to sleep. Tomorrow I will update the 2nd part ,by that time the HSC results will be out…

Wish….almost granted!!!

I have always thought that my mom wished for a daughter, until God foiled her plans. My parents were blessed with another son on 4th Aug ’82. I think every woman wishes for a daughter, especially if there is a Big Bro for the to-be-delivered baby.

As a disobedient and mischievous kid who never helped his mom in the daily chores I have heard the words “Yechya peksha ek mulgi zali asti tar kiti bara zala asta” on at least a dozen occasions. Comparisons with my sweet cousin, Kalyani, were an everyday affair.

Shopping is another domain where I think my mom misses a daughter. And shopping for daughter’s marriage is a grand event in every woman’s life.

hindu-marriage.jpg

A few weeks before my friend, Shraddha, got engaged and will be married in October. She called me and requested if my mom could assist her for the wedding shopping as she doesn’t have any relatives in Pune and needed elderly advice.

So today my mom along with my dad (who also must have wished for a daughter) went to Laxmi Road with Shraddha for her wedding shopping. They shopped for “Paithani Saree”, “Nath”, “Pothya”, jewelry and some similar extra-terrestrial stuff.

I am sure at this moment (its 1 am) my mom must be thinking of what she has missed all these years. I am hating this realization.

Oops I did it again!

Monday was a special day in my life. We (Mom,dad and myself) went to Alibaug and Nagoan beaches in our Maruti 800. It was special bcos probably it was for the first time that only 3 of us were out for a trip since most of the time its with Kaka, Mama or some relative. We started off late by 9 am ,completed breakfast at Joshi Wadewale by 9 45 and reached Khopoli via the Khopoli Exit on Pune-Mumbai expressway by 11. And after a 30 km atrocious patch till Pen managed to reach Alibaug by 1. We departed Alibaug at 6,but not before an awesome Konkan cuisine and an evening stroll by the beach watching the sunset. The picture is of Anjarale Beach clicked by me in one of my trip to Konkan and not of my yesterday’s trip.